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How the Devil Builds Guitars

This Page Is Reprinted With Permission From The Zachary Guitars Website.

I don't agree with some of the religious overtones. In principle however this is dead on and relevant enough for me to ask the owner permission to reprint it.

It's a true rendition of what the author thinks of a certain guitar company that he has left nameless.

Ed Roman

Remember this is a reprint from another website. I did not have anything to do with this except that I agree in principle with what the author is saying.

I repeat: I do not approve of the religious overtones but I do agree in principle.

Possibly the religious overtones are meant to be humorous, I am not sure.. But I did chuckle a little when I read this.

Ed Roman

How The Devil Builds Guitars

*The Gore Zone*

WARNING! This May Be Disturbing!
If you ever wondered what HELL will be like. THIS IS IT!

The shocking pictures below are spy shots of how the Devil builds guitars. Actually the Devil does not know how to build guitars, he only deceives people into thinking that he is a true guitar builder. He is great at deception. He only masquerades as a guitar builder. He uses some evil machines which attempt to mimic the human touch. As we all know, this is impossible to achieve. The devil is not a creator, he is a destroyer. Only God can create. God created people in his image and in turn humans have created some wonderful musical instruments by hand to celebrate God. Since the devil has no talent to achieve such beautiful work he must rely on technology and incessant advertising to deceive guitar players all over the world. This is how the devil builds guitars. This is the work of the devil.

These are the machines of the devil at work:

Oh No!!! I have been exposed!!!

I must pay$$$ more bands to use my guitars and do more full page color ads in guitar mags
I must continue to fool these Morons before its too late.

The devil brags about tolerances as close as 2/1000 of an inch.
This is all that he can offer since he can not give his guitars soul.

The devil has no soul. No soul, no feel & no tone.

Pure Horror. What an atrocity.

This is the brave person who provided me with these pictures.
The stories he has told me are gruesome.
He is in great danger and his identity must be protected.

Hand craftsmanship the devil way. The devil is not to blame, only his followers.

I apologize if these disturbing images have made you sick to your stomach.
My biggest fear is that if I go to hell,

The devil will make me build guitars this way as well.
This is why I vow to always be a good person, so that I don't end up this way.
People who build guitars like this must have sold their soul to the devil.

Machines like this can turn otherwise untalented individuals
into successful "guitar builders".

This is another spy shot taken of a factory in Taiwan. Unfortunately the individual who took the photo has been captured by authorities and has since disappeared. I have contacted Amnesty International but they don't have much hope for saving him.

This factory exports 60% of its production to the US market. The company's OEM business, its primary focus, serves such world-class brands as Alvarez, Aria, Blade, Epiphone, Ibanez, Warwick & Washburn. Your own instrument may have been made by this machine.

You can see that this CNC machine is programmed to make several bodies at the same time with NO human contact. You can imagine how sterile these guitars will feel. Another machine will make the necks, about 6 at a time, after which they will be sprayed with thick plastic paint. They will then be shipped by the container load from the third world to your favorite music store and you will see them advertised in your favorite guitar magazine. The devil is very crafty indeed.

As revolting as this picture seems, its the only way however to stock music stores. This is how you get rich and famous as a guitar maker but first you must sink a load of money into advertising and endorsement contracts. That is what it takes to brainwash the fools. If you are one of these fools, LEAVE THIS SITE IMMEDIATELY. You must be deprogrammed, which is a difficult process. You must be institutionalized and treated by specialists in deprogramming victims of indoctrination. Years of brainwashing must be neutralized or you will end up actually buying these devil-made guitars over and over again.

The Devil himself has responded, only days after the above picture was uploaded. The Devil himself visits my site regularly and it is apparent that he is an SRP owner, which is not surprising. The Devil hates to be exposed or to be judged. He is not happy about this page. Here is what he wrote me:

First off your guitars are SHIT! Secondly, If you actually read the bible it says "Judge not lest ye be judged". Fanaticism is a sin and you are fanatical hypocrite that uses religion to justify your miserable existence. God has a special burning line just for your type of people. Quote from your page God created people in his image. Even God is entitled to make a really stupid mistake. You're the one that must be deprogrammed and that will definitely be a difficult process. You must be institutionalized and treated. Years of brainwashing must be neutralized or you will end up exactly like the rest of the hypocritical morons. BURNING IN HELL!
Have a nice day...... Lucem Ferre (that's Greek for LUCIFER)

Remember this is a reprint from another website. I did not have anything to do with this except that I agree in principle with what the author is saying.

I repeat: I do not approve of the religious overtones but I do agree in principle.

Possibly the religious overtones are meant to be humorous, I am not sure.. But I did chuckle a little when I read this.

Ed Roman