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Ed Roman Rants

What's A Rant?

Bold, Brash, Politically & Sometimes Even Grammatically Incorrect.
Statements Guaranteed to Stimulate Your Medulla Oblongata.
Statements Totally Aimed at Deprogramming You From The White Bread, Corporate America Lifestyle,
 Which is Slowly Swallowing Up Our Real Culture.
Statements & Opinions That will surely draw fire & flaming from the diehard, Lumpen Proletariat,
Traditionalist, Old Boy Network That decides on what your next guitar purchase will be.

Ed Roman 1996
  Misdirected ignorant brand loyalty clogs the wheels of progress !!!

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Rant Title

Rant Excerpt
Why Vintage Guitars are not worth it Someone posted this article on the web and sent it to me.  I have made a few comments on the article.   
Beginner Guitars If you are getting ready to buy little Johnny his first guitar, I suggest you read the page/pages below. You will probably be surprised to find out a few things.
Bent Top Guitars A bent top guitar is a guitar that has a totally artificial veneered archtop.  It is yet another way for the bigger mega corporations to bilk more money out of uneducated consumers.
Best in Store When I go into a store, (any kind of store), I like to see a large selection of unique items.  I like to see things that I don't know about.
Brand Loyalty COMING SOON,  misplaced, brand loyalty is clogging up the wheels of progress.
COMING SOON
Broken Gibsons Why is it that the most expensive overpriced guitar on the planet is prone to neck breakage. It is my contention that Gibson guitars need a major update to their design.
Case Candy  AAAAAAAARRRGGHHHHHHHHH  I hate that expression !!!!!!!!!!! This one rankles & aggravates me so much. That I may never get around to actually writing the rant itself.  My head wants to explode when I think about "Case Candy". Some of my employees actually use this expression just to set me off so they can laugh at the steam escaping from my ears.  COMING SOON
CNC Machines A look at the pros & cons of using computer numerically controlled machines to build guitars. 
Chain Stores Some people may read my rants and may assume that I was sour grapes on Superstores for self serving reasons.  I have thought about it long and hard and I have assured myself that my own agenda is truly unaffected by these stores.
Christmas Guitars   A Christmas guitar is usually, but not necessarily purchased around Christmas. Usually for someone who has no real clue about guitars.
Commissioned Sales People The main reason "Guitar Center" has such a high employee failure rate or turnover is probably because they have a commission system that forces people to work at minimum wage.
Cost Cutting Many people wonder why large companies try to shave pennies off their costs. Especially when the product sells in the multi thousand dollar range. Most people don't grasp the reasoning behind it.
Ebony Fingerboards It really rankles me that PRS refuses to offer Ebony fingerboards. I mean what's the deal, I thought PRS was supposed to be a Premium High End Guitar?
Ed Roman Gets Screwed I met Richard Mermer at the Asia Show in Nashville three years back.  I was impressed with the look and feel of his guitars.  I bought three of his samples and entered into a verbal dealership agreement with him.
ESP Lover Rant A close minded ESP geek who had no idea what he was talking about.
Flamers Currently there are some individuals on the internet who don't agree with my opinions.  I have no problem with that. I also have no problem with profanity and flaming.
Free Country In the United States of America we are supposedly guaranteed certain inalienable rights. Simple things like  freedom of speech and freedom of expression, religion, opinions etc.
G.A.S Many of my customers have asked me about what kind of guitars I play. Currently I use my  Quicksilver  guitar when I need major tonal versatility. I am still using a headless LSR for a backup...
Gasoline Prices Are Too High Read this, print it out and email it to everyone you know. This could actually work. But it can't work if people make exceptions. Boycott Mobil & Exxon the 2 largest gas companies.  This will bring down the Gas Prices.  I'm 100% on board  Ed Roman
Ghost Builders You may be skeptical regarding some of the facts that I will be relating to you in the examples section below. It is possible that there may be a couple of errors...
Gibson Lawsuits COMING SOON
Guitar Center Fixed Prices Guitar Center will no longer be offering extra discounts and deals. In fact they have raised their prices !!!! The new owners have gone to fixed prices.
Guitars Resale Value This Rant Posted 10/09/07 It is about resale value and some of the hijinks that certain manufacturers try to pull on unsuspecting trusting Consumers .  NEW RANT
Girl Guitars OK. First of all there is no such thing as a girls guitar!!  A guitar is a guitar is a guitar. It makes no difference in the basic construction.
Glossary of Terms Due to dealer agreements and competitor complaints many companies won't allow me to print my LOW prices.
Hand Made Is a guitar really handmade if its made by 100 pairs of hands aided by several million dollars worth of machines?
Heel from Hell - PRS Years ago PRS guitars had no heels, Today they use this big flat heel on the back of the neck. In 1995 PRS switched to this monstrosity and it has remained ever since.
How the Devil Builds Guitars This page is reprinted with permission from The Zachary Guitars Website. I don't agree with some of the religious overtones. In principle however this is dead on and relevant enough for me to ask the owner permission to reprint it.
Import Guitars I used to carry very few imported guitars, I personally would rather sell USA made guitars. In the downturn economy that happened in 2001 and a seeming rebirth of American pride, many of my customers refused to buy Asian imports.
Japanese Guitars Here's another one of my politically incorrect, too little too late, pain in the ass articles reminding you that you are screwing the entire American way of life by buying expensive high end products made in Asia.
Legal Notice All text, graphic and other written content appearing on this website are the property of Ed Roman Guitars. Copyrights 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 200, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007...
Les Paul Broken Necks FACT: Gibson necks always break !!!!  On this page Ed Roman explores the reasons why that is.
Loose Strings Occasionally I will have to purchase a guitar from another dealer, usually when it arrives the strings will all be loose.  I HATE THAT !!!!!!!!
McCarty PRS Guitars Personally Ed Roman is definitely not a fan of the PRS McCarty, In fact I prefer to sell them off on Ebay!  Fee Bay
Magazines It occurs to me, that if you write a book on something you are then supposedly considered an expert.  That is not necessarily true.
Mailbox etc Rip-offs  Be Careful
Mystic Mailbox, Mystic Connecticut		 Always go directly to UPS or Fed Ex. Mailbox etc typically charges at least triple UPS rates, Mystic Mailboxes, The winner of our overcharge of the year award.
Manny's Imagine if you will, Omar Ahmaddesman is a Turkish diplomat en route to Los Angeles Via New York City. Omar has a to change planes in New York and he has a 5 hour lay over.
Microsoft? I will print anything that anyone send me as long as it's relative and intelligently put together, 
Million Dollar Fly Momo is one of our best customers. He in fact paid 1.5 million dollars for the Parker Guitar in the picture.
Mission Statement The main mission of my website is to eventually cover every obscure and unique electric guitar brand that exists or ever existed.
Music Yo "Music Yo" is a company that appears to be a subsidiary of Gibson that was formed to sell product direct to the public. They make a big deal about selling to you direct and cutting out the middleman etc. etc.
My Price Guarantee I will not be insulted if you try to negotiate or make a better deal. I realize that human nature is such that every one wants to get a good deal.  When a customer starts negotiating price, He is telling me that he is a serious buyer.
My Requirements I have been in the guitar business most of my life.  My website gets about 1,250,000 hits a day from interested guitar buyers. Currently I retail between 10 and 20 guitars every day and wholesale as many as  25 to 30.
My Selling Style People have called me a good salesman,  I don't think that I am, A good salesperson can sell anything, I can only sell what I truly believe in.  So in effect I am telling you that a 17 year old kid who works in a Guitar Center or Sam Ash is actually a better salesperson than me.
Overpriced Guitars An expensive guitar would be like a JET or a Centurion or maybe an Abstract.  These are guitars that cost a lot of money.
PRS Questions Interesting things about PRS Guitars
Pawnshops To the extremely few pawnshop owners that are actually honest AND knowledgeable-- Ed Roman personally  hereby apologizes in advance.
Prices I get numerous E-mail because I don't post all my prices,  Believe me I wish I could, it would make my life so much easier. Hell all I would have to do is wait for the checks to arrive.
Scam Woods Any production guitar, I don't care what brand, will always suffer from uniformity. The prevailing design engineer has to pre-suppose the end consumers  decision about what he or she  wants in a guitar.
School Music Teaching Programs I am available to any school public or private who wants my advice on how to set up a program for the kids to learn guitar. I will not charge anything and I will be glad to help with any recommendations for instruments, books, and general information that may be helpful.
Spam Phone Calls This rant is about what you can do to fight back when you get one of  those rotten no good slimy automatic phone dialer dirt-bags calling you just as you are sitting down to dinner. Or worse yet, you just hung up on someone you really wanted to talk to only to get a spam call....  Great Ways To Fight Back.  COMING SOON
Spend Your $$$ Stop complaining, shut up, and spend your damn money,  There has never been a better time to spend your money, There has never been a better reason to spend your money.  Money is not edible, Most money is not collectable and money does not even make good toilet paper.
Stupid Story, A Really Stupid Story I am proud to say, I was involved in the original design of this guitar, and it's subsequent revisions.  When I first designed this guitar, I never wanted it to be sold under the BC Rich name.
Travelers Checks Don't ever get caught in a strange city with only Travelers Checks. When try to buy gasoline, it won't work too well. Even though your travelers check is good or bad American Express will always pay the merchant. The problem lies with the clerks.
Vintage Guitars A Guaranteed Sure Fire Way To Tell The Real From The Rip-Off's. All guitars in our inventory that are sold as vintage will be approximately 25 years old or older. Ed Roman guarantees they are what we say they are.
What Customers Are Saying coming soon

I get at least 3 or 4 letters from people a day who ask for more rants !!!

I'm working on one right now about Travelers Checks and why they are a scam.
Don't ever use them unless you are a moron of the highest caliber !!!

Ed Roman

Work in Progress Send me in Some Letters on These Subjects

I am in agreement with Frank on many things, Not everything he says but for the most part he is right.  I truly believe the overpriced expensive Vintage guitars are purchased by people who have more money than common sense. I have an old 59 Les Paul Jr and I love it, But I only paid $1000.00 for it.

I believe that there are very few guitars worth more than $15,000.00.  I would never trade my 1978 Koa Mockingbird that I have had since 1978 for it even though on paper the Gibson might be worth a little but more. In fact I don't even play the Mockingbird anymore. I also have an old Corvette and an Aston Martin that I will probably never drive again. I just like them, I like to look at them, I like to wash them, I like to know they are sitting in my garage doing absolutely nothing. Now if these cars had set me back 150,000 I would feel totally different, In fact I could not enjoy them knowing they cost so much

I also believe that no one ever should pay the ridiculous prices that companies like Gibson are preloading their Crapola reissue Piece of Shit guitars.

Hey Ed, I hope everything is nice in Nevada. Here's an interesting story I read on the internet just now. I don't think you will be surprised when you read it:
http://www.switched.com/2008/03/21/gibson-sues-rock-band-creators-wal-mart-and-other-retailers/

They are spending money suing video game makers instead of, oh I don't know, focusing on music. I don't know if you follow game stories, but this "Guitar Hero" is huge for Gibson. You have probably at least seen the fake little game controllers shaped like Les Pauls and SG's with five color coded buttons on them. You are supposed to push the buttons in the sequence in which they show-up on the screen and you have to hit them at the right time in order not to suck. Then you will be a guitar God. Why the hell don't these kids get a damn guitar and learn to play a few riffs? You have to give credit to Gibson though, by putting their name on the controller it will hugely influence a first time guitar buyer into getting one of their crappy axes. Here's the funniest story now. There are companies on the Net that actually make "custom" game controllers! Oh yeah, you can have any picture or design you want on your custom Gibson shaped game controller.

Anyway thought you would like to read an interesting story. What do you think of this Robot Guitar Gibson has? Another way to lure in newbie guitar players who don't want to learn to tune a guitar or any of that traditional stuff. Some gimmicks are great and some suck donkey balls.

Lem Smalley

Ed,

I have been reading your rants for quite a while now and I have to say that you have deprogrammed me. Thank you. I just started playing guitar and unfortunately, I didn’t find your site until after I bought my first guitar (Fender Toronado GT HH), so I have no one to blame but myself....but, I do have a question....what is everyone’s FIXATION with Les Paul guitars??? Is it Brand Loyalty? Band Sponsorships????? Shilled Magazine Articles???? Gibson paying off everyone???? Please enlighten me....sorry this isn't a YES/NO answer, I got on my own rant.

Tim Surovy
Whitehall PA 18052
 

P.S......from the pictures I have seen, you guys do beautiful work, I am starting to save for a Baker or eventually (if I have enough before I am eventually laid off), a Quicksilver
 

 
 
 
Mr. Roman,
Thank you for maintaining your website; great stuff! I've learned a lot about guitars and music stores since 1965 and agree wholeheartedly with most of your rants. Your focus on quality is impressive but I'm glad you sell "corporate junk" too because most people who want to learn to play will never be very good and they'll never know until they try. I know very few folks for whom Quicksilver quality would make any difference and many for whom it would not.
 
I distinctly remember being frustrated with my inability to get the sounds I was hearing on the radio from my '63 Guild S-50 JetStar and Ampeg Reverbo-Rocket. Getting a Strat and a Big Muff was a tremendous improvement but didn't help me play like Hendrix. Getting another amp and a 'Paul expanded my options but didn't help me play like Keaggy. I have acquired several other guitars since and still can't play a solo that I want to listen to.
 
I intentionally did not see the movie "Wayne's World" but have heard the line: "I'm not worthy!" well... I'm not... and neither are most people. A high school kid with a learner's permit doesn't need a new Maserati. He or she shouldn't be lied to at the music store OR the used car lot but I know from personal experience that with persistence, it is possible to find one of those black Squier Strats which can be made to play well enough to have some fun in a garage band and find out he or she hasn't got the chops to bother spending thousands on an instrument they can't play anyway.
 
You wrote yourself that unrealistic prices from the mass marketers made custom building viable. Keep the custom shop going and don't apologize for making affordable instruments available to the wannabes who fund the industry.
 
Mark
 

Hi, my name is Chris Lamb, I'm 17, and I'm an aspiring (read: starving) musician. I own several guitars and lately I have been spending a lot of time at edroman.com. I gawked and gasped at the incredible axes Mr. Roman has to offer, but after looking around a bit more, I found that the most valuable part of the site is Mr. Roman's "Rants" section. After having read many of the articles, I am beginning to think Mr. Roman is one of the few sane and intelligent  people left in the music world. My  favorite rant, "Overpriced Guitars", hits the nail directly on the head and should be in the back of every guitar player's head at all times. I must admit that even as a young player, I have made many of the mistakes mentioned in the rants, and wish I had come across Mr. Roman's words of wisdom MUCH sooner. Luckily, I started out with a Dean Baby V- a decent guitar- at a very reasonable price ($130). However, I have loads of sympathy for aspiring guitarists who make the HUGE mistakes of buying from mega-stores, or starter packs from "Music Depot." Why more people aren't aware of the scams present in the music industry is beyond me- Mr. Roman's advice is available at a mouse click and here's the best part- it's totally FREE! Thank you for imparting your wisdom to me- I am an exponentially smarter consumer for having taken the time to read your rants.

 
Sincerely,
Chris Lamb, Vacaville CA

Hello Chris

Thanks for your letter, & fine compliments, I especially thank you for the sane and Intelligent compliment, But I must deny the part about being sane.  It's pretty hard to keep any semblance of sanity in my life. This is an insane industry where I deal with insane people on a minute to minute basis, I am trying to stay a little sane, but often I feel I am losing the battle.   Thanks Again !!!

Ed Roman
Jan 20th 2007